Safety Training for the Mayan Apocalypse (Just in Time)

endofworld Safety Training for the Mayan Apocalypse (Just in Time)

If you’re following the news, you’re well aware that the world will end soon. Real soon. On December 21, 2012, in fact.

That’s a bummer. For those of you who still have a lot of Christmas shopping to do, it’s a double bummer, because it robs you of a few days to get your shopping done and may prevent you from catching some last-minute sale prices. Makes you wonder why you didn’t brave those Black Friday crowds, huh?

We know the world is going to end because the ancient Mayans have told us it’s true through their calendar system. The Mayans were good people. Advanced, too—had their own writing system, developed impressive agricultural systems, knew quite a bit about the stars, and more.

This may put a panic into you. Or, maybe not. Maybe we’re approaching the end of the world as we know it, and you feel fine about it. To each their own, right?

Here at Convergence Training, we see the upcoming Mayan Apocalypse and the end of the world in 2012 the same way we see everything. You want to prepare for it. You want to know the safety in’s and out’s about it. And you want to complete your relevant safety training before it’s game time.

With that said, we’ve prepared a list for you.

Convergence Safety Training courses to help you prepare for the Mayan Apocalypse:

Hazard Communication

If the world’s going to end, let’s get talking about it, people! Are there labels to place? Is the safety data sheet binder compliant? Have all the employees been trained? And how exactly does the 2012 revision of HazCom to align with GHS fit into all this?

Emergency Action Plans

OK, talking about it is good (see above), but you can’t be all talk and no action. And by “action,” I mean emergency action. As in emergency action plan. Get one now, before you need it. Or hey, check out our Emergency Preparedness Combo-Pack. Why go halfway? Think big, friends! The world only ends once–right?

Confined Space Awareness

It stands to reason that after the Mayan Apocalypse, we may all venture on to the Mayan Underworld. And it turns out that’s reached through a series of caves and deep tunnels. Sounds like some confined space training might be just the ticket. Do you think we need a confined space permit to enter?

Bloodborne Pathogens

Now, I know I said earlier that the ancient Mayans were good people. And I meant it. But let’s be honest here—we all know they practiced human sacrifice. Hey, nobody’s perfect, right? Let he or she among you who is without sin cast the first stone! The rest of us would do well to learn how to keep ourselves safe from bloodborne pathogens while a Mayan priest is pulling our still-beating hearts out of our open chests.

Fire Extinguisher Safety

To be honest, I don’t know exactly what the upcoming Apocalypse is going to look like. I’ve got some ideas, but I’m not Mayan. I was born in Detroit, you know? (Hey, the joke you’re thinking of right now about the end of the world and Detroit is too easy and not nice, alright?) However, a LOT of religious traditions talk about thinks like hellfire and such at the end of days. Seems sensible to me to make sure you know how to use a fire extinguisher, just in case.

First Aid for Emergencies

Providing first aid to the injured is always the responsible thing to do (and in good taste!). Even when it appears that things are going to that proverbial nether region in a hand basket. Don’t commit a selfish faux-pas because you don’t know the basics. People WILL talk.

Heat Stress Causes

I just checked the weather.com forecast for December in San Cristobal de la Casas in Chiapas, Mexico. That’s the center of the old Mayan empire. And it’s a good deal warmer than it is here at our headquarters in Portland, Oregon. It’s only prudent to learn more about heat stress before this all goes down. Hey, maybe even check out this free Heat Safety App for Iphones and Androids!

Fall Prevention and Protection

After you’ve been teleported down to the Mayan Lands in preparation for the Apocalypse (see above), you’re sure to notice the grand scale of their architecture. When it came to putting up buildings, these people painted with a BIG brush! Impressive? Yes. But also dangerous. Don’t be climbing up on those buildings without the proper fall prevention and protection gear or you may find yourself in a ticklish situation.

Lockout-Tagout

When faced with eternal destruction, the final days, and global calamity, my first reaction is going to be to lock the door. Especially if snakes are involved—I DO NOT like snakes. I realize I’m stretching typical conceptions of lockout-tagout here, but give a brother a break, won’tcha?

Personal Protective Equipment

You put on safety goggles every day at work but you weren’t planning on wearing any PPE during the single most catastrophic day the world has ever known? Hello???!!!

Violence in the Workplace

At Convergence Training, we hope you are all at home enjoying your hard-earned vacation days when the world ends. At least you’ll be with your loved ones. But in a tight economy, we realize some of you may have to work on December 21. If that’s you, make sure you know how to handle the special, work-related issues of eternal destruction. (I think we included “how to handle an apocalypse that some say was predicted by an ancient civilization” in that module…lemme check and get back to you.)

5S Methodology

I know what you’re thinking. You think that just because the world is about to end in some horrific fashion, you don’t need to keep the workplace lean and mean and clean and orderly. You WERE, weren’t you? Well I’m here to tell you that’s EXACTLY THE WRONG APPROACH! And that getting lazy now, and not keeping your Ps and Qs in order, may just spell ultimate doom for you.

Slips, Trips, and Falls

Is it just me? Or has anyone else out there noted the coincidence that the Mayan Apocalypse happens on what modern astronomers call the winter solstice? Maybe what we’ve got here is a classic bit of ancient Mayan over-reaction to the shortest day of the year? Hey, it happens. We all get down during the winter. Although frankly, up here in the dark and gloomy Pacific Northwest, I’ve got to wonder what a Mayan living so close to the equator is doing singing the winter blues. And don’t even ask an Alaskan what he or she thinks! Maybe all we need to do is prepare for a lack of sunlight, anticipate that the darkness can cause us to overlook some items underfoot, and remove any slip, trip, and fall hazards from our work areas?

Of course, maybe all this focus on the so-called Mayan Apocalypse is distracting us and we’re all taking our eye off the real ball here.

Hope this helps! Have a safe day and a safe end of the world. Remember, safety first (and safety last)!

Your friends at Convergence Training

Jeffrey Dalto

Jeffrey Dalto

Jeffrey Dalto is an Instructional Designer, Lead Trainer, and Customer Education Specialist at Convergence Training

13 thoughts on “Safety Training for the Mayan Apocalypse (Just in Time)

  1. Ina-Lu: Thanks so much. <br /><br />Forethought: And thanks to you too. Glad you took the time to check the links and liked them–those took some time. My favorite is the one to Miss Manners…I love her smile in that photo.<br /><br />To both of you–have a great holiday season. Best of everything to you.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Convergence Training

  2. Anonymous: I was an English lit major who has since had 20-plus years work experience in instructional design. No real knowledge of marketing.<br /><br />Roger: No good advice on the fiscal cliff. When I&#39;m not writing blog posts, one of the things I do at work is train customers how to use our learning management system (LMS). Part of that system includes the ability to set an expiration date

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